TRUDGE!

Ok, no time today. Just pushing along. Trying to close the week on a good note. Hope all is well. Got some good, non-diary stuff to look at soon… Just pushing through the last day in a tough, but easier than last, week.

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Another day in Paradise

well, the world is strange, and so am i, and everyone i know… just an observation

lately, tripping the light fantastic toe has been fun, in its own way. i’ve been incredibly productive over the last couple of days, getting back into the swing of things. i’ve been coloring between the lines for what seems like an eternity, and its paying off… it is really a requirement at this point.

but that’s never stopped me before. so i remain diligent. and first things first, always – i’ve maintained as simple a life as possible over the last few weeks, out of necessity, for my sanity, and most importantly, for my spirituality.

ah, this is becoming a dear diary again. i’m boring myself, really. introspection has its place but i don’t want to get carried away with staring at my navel. so i’ll move on… more work to do anyway…

Who’s back?

So anyway as I get back on my feet from this little funk I’ve been under, I notice my mind and body moving slower but picking up speed.

I have had some time to reflect on things in general and I have to say although its different than I imagined, my life is good today. Its simple, really, although the outside layer is covered up in twists and turns.

Things I’ve thought were dying to be dealt with are nothing today, long gone. What I worried about in the past means nothing now.

In short, I have looked over my life and smiled. I think the future me can learn a lot from the past me: the people around me are the most important part of my life… the ones that’ll have been around forever and will be around forever, first. Then there are the new folks, today and tomorrow.

So maybe, just maybe, the stuff that I had, and wanted, and thought I needed, is just that – stuff. And that’s not very important.

Anyway I’ll move on to a different topic, because a side effect of keeping things simple is not thinking too much… or maybe that’s how its done. I can’t say. I’ll just move on.

Hell is Other People

Back to the existentialism, as I dive into another hole in my life. Crash is a better word. Its just a thing, I”m not down about it, but things just keep happening that I would think are bad in my normal brain. But my experience tells me that things all work out like they’re supposed to, and I’m trying to hang on to that today.

I am an essentialist when things are good, and an existentialist when things are bad. I guess.

Either way, I think in the play “No Exit” when Satre makes the comment that hell is other people, he really meant that hell is not ever being able to truly really totally connect with our fellows and our reality.

He makes an inferential statement, I think, when he talks about seeing a reflection in another person’s eye. The best we can do to relate to others is to try to find something within us to relate to them.

Or perhaps he meant that when we look outside of ourselves the best we can do to understand the world and those people in it is to project ourselves onto it… and that, apparently to him, is a bad thing.

How can we understand what we’ve never experienced? And this is actually a dimensional problem, because we also have to take time into consideration.

Damn time.

Dammit.

I gotta rest. Its been a helluva day here, there, and everywhere. At least through my eyes.

p.s. it could be worse, one of the guys where i’m contracting to raise grants got tossed tonight… or left rather… with nowhere to go… and its a chilly, no, make that a cold Alabama night. So things could be worse.

Busy bee

Well I have been running around trying to get set up for this contract. The deal, the work, the perks, and the living situation have all turned out to be better than expected. It just took getting up here to get the rewards

So on the homefront, as usual, several things are going on, some new flux, but on the whole, things are stabilizing. That’s about as personal as it gets right now, here, because I’m moving away from that sort of blog, I hope.

As for work, several things that I am ‘trained’ in are decidedly handy as I establish myself in the small but quickly-growing organization. We have prisoner reentry stuff, drug addicts coming in for recovery, then a basic service for homeless people as a safe house. With the weather getting cooler, almost cold, the homeless come in and then we get a chance to help them in other ways.

Its a very promising organization run by a guy who is truly inspired, energetic, and determined. His leadership skills are growing but I’ll leave that alone. He has a vision and he needs good workers to come in and work. But he also needs to realize there are skills and experiences that some of us have on staff that he won’t know about unless he asks.

I have made several recommendations and he just kind of blew them off. That’s cool, though, because I am well aware of what goes on in the mind of a drug addict, and sooner than later I believe he might defer to me on some of those issues.

Speaking of, the number of drug addicts here have been estimated at around 70%. I think that’s a low figure. I think we’re running about 90% drug addicts, 10% sociopaths. I should add here that a drug addict in full swing usually differs from a sociopath in small ways that are often hard to discern both outside the world of recovery and in the present.

Anyway this is an interesting situation. I’m here to bring in money. I can and will do that. In the meantime I think I’ll help them with a few problems that keep stumping them.

Well, that’s work, and home is out of bounds right now, so that’s about it. I’m going to try to get something enjoyable, and non-movingĀ  / non-work related going this weekend. I need a break to make things better around here. Plus I need a life.

That’s all. I’ll be back on more often now that I’m settling into the world of the present again.